Burying the Lede

A few notes before I tell this story:

1. There’s potty humor. I don’t usually share those stories, but this one is too good.

2. Maddie has been fully potty trained for awhile now. We still put her in Pull-ups at night, but she’s been fully dry every morning for weeks. Preston and I were even discussing maybe discontinuing with them.

3. Maddie has been in this new mode of popping out of bed to pee and also just to because “I can’t sleep.” She wants songs, etc.

4. Maddie has a habit of burying the lede. Example: A few weeks ago she popped out of bed to say “Mommy, I have to pee-pee. And Sam threw up.”

So tonight, this happened.

Maddie: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! (five more times or so …)

Me: Yes, Maddie?

Maddie: I can’t sleep.

Me: Okay. What do you need?

Maddie: The baby song. And my dreams.

Me: Okay, one baby song and then we’ll talk about your dreams for a few minutes.

Maddie: And then I’ll go to sleep!

Me: Right. {Sings the baby song.}

Maddie: And scratch my back.

Me: {scratching back} Okay, now what do you want to dream about tonight.

Maddie: Kids I don’t know. First girls, then boys. {This is a new thing — she wants me to list names of girls and boys she doesn’t know so she can dream about them.}

Me: Okay. {List girl names.} Now boys.

Maddie: No, two more girls.

Me: {Two more girl names, then boy names.} Okay, good night.

Maddie: Three more boy names.

Me: No Maddie, go to sleep.

Maddie: Okay. Oh, Mommy?

Me: Yes, Maddie?

Maddie: I have poop in my Pull-up.

{And scene.}

For Sale: Four-year-old

Today was a day.

Preston had to work. He had to leave at 8 a.m. He’d be back at 1 p.m. and Maddie had a birthday party to go to at 2:30 p.m. The big complication was that I still hadn’t gotten the birthday party girls (twins) gifts.

So I got up early, showered, etc. and planned to head out to Target. Easy-peasy.

Maddie had other plans. Literally. She did not want to go to Target. She had a full-body, possessed-by-demons meltdown. Screaming, crying.

I gave her a choice. We could go to Target and get birthday gifts for the girls or I would call the girls’ mother and tell her that Maddie couldn’t attend the party.

Maddie did not like those choices. In fact, at one point in the car she shrieked “This is not my choice!” (Since she refused to choose I made the choice for her — I decided that continuing to deal with the current tantrum would be less painful than extending the tantrum into the “No, no party for you.” afternoon.)

She shrieked and yelled most of the way to Target. She did calm down, thankfully, by the time we got into the store.

Of course one consequence of all this was that it ended up being late by time we arrived back home. Luckily Preston came in and was willing to bring Maddie out to the party, leaving Sam and I to hang out.

She had a great time at the party and Sam and I had a nice afternoon (him napping, me cleaning up the house a bit then relaxing).

For those of you who thought maybe Maddie was an alien being who never behaves like a normal four-year-old. Sometimes, she does.

My Kryptonite

Is vomit.

I’m completely phobic about throwing up myself. I might be the only person you’ve ever met who has never (literally NEVER) thrown up from drinking too much. I never threw up while pregnant (it was my biggest fear). I think I remember that last time I did throw up. It was at least 10 years ago, I got food poisoning and I sat on the floor of my bathroom and cried.

Yeah, so I can’t quite deal.

Tonight Sam threw up. Apparently there is a really bad stomach virus going around.

Preston was a complete trooper. He cleaned up everything.

Sam is sleeping now. Here’s hoping he’s better tomorrow.

American Museum of Natural History

We took the kids on a very fun outing today to the American Museum of Natural History. It was great fun!

We went on the absolute final day of the special exhibit The World’s Largest Dinosaurs. It was, of course, on the same floor as all the other dinosaurs, so we tours those rooms while waiting for our ticket time. Maddie LOVED it. She was delighted by each new dinosaur. She made up little stories (“That’s a baby, a baby, a sister and a mommy. They are a family and they live together.”) about some of them. She wanted to see bigger ones and bigger ones.

Sam was a bit flummoxed by it all, but also seemed to enjoy it.

Fantastic way to kick off 2012!

{Sorry for the not-so-great iPhone photo of only one kid. I was trying to enjoy the moment, not document it.}