Maddie and Mommy Hit the Town

The Mission: Get ready for school (first day: Wednesday, September 7)


Stop #1 Barnes and Noble: Might as well start out with something fun!

Choice Maddie quote: “First we’ll look at books for you, then we’ll look at  books for me.” (Apparently this is what we do when we go to B&N. I didn’t know she noticed.)

Purchases: For Maddie, Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet and Don’t Let a Pigeon Drive the Bus. For Mommy, the September issues of In Style and Martha Stewart Living. (What?)

Stop #2 Children’s Place for leggings.

Choice Maddie quote: “I’m hungry. I’m tired.” (Seriously. Stop #2.)

Purchases: Four pairs of leggings. One pair was mislabeled and has to go back. Awesome.

Stop #3 Duane Reade for a notebook.

Choice Maddie quote: “I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack. I’m hungry. I want a snack.” (For those of you who think she’s always delightful, not so much.)

Purchases: Purple composition notebook. And Fig Newtons.

Stop #4 Sephora (What??)

Choice Maddie quote: “More cookie please.”

Purchases: Clinique Chubby Stick and hand cream. Plus, 500 point bonus gift!!

Stop #5 Hairdresser

Choice Maddie quote, after I told her that she is always beautiful: “No Mommy, I’m not always beautiful. Sometimes I’m gorgeous.”

Purchase: Very cute hair cut.

Stop #6 Cheeburger, Cheeburger for LUNCH!

Choice Maddie quote, after scarfing down a hamburger and fries: “Tomorrow when we come here I’ll have chicken fingers.”

Purchase: Lunch and a much needed break.

Stop #7 Blue Elephant for shoes

Choice Maddie quote: “These shoes make my feet dance!”

Purchase: Grey Ecco Mary Janes.

Last stop: Nap for Maddie. She may sleep until next week …

Hell is Other Parents

Today was orientation for Maddie’s pre-school.

This is for PRE-SCHOOL. As in FOUR-YEAR-OLDS. This is important. I’ll come back to this.

Orientation is a chance to meet the teachers, get the packet with more papers that need to be signed than a refi, see the classroom and ask questions.

It’s that last bit that inevitably reveals the very worst in my fellow parents.

So one parent asked a question about when the kids would start learning the alphabet because while his son knows the song he doesn’t recognize the letters. The teachers talked about the ways they would learn in class and also gave a few pointers for teaching this stuff at home. They emphasized that learning through play — rather than drills — is really best for this age.

Then the subject of snacks came up. Our school requires that we send lunch but snacks are provided in class.

If you want to see how crazy parents are, bring up snacks.

One woman, who is now my Mortal Enemy (you’ll see …) wanted to know precisely what snacks would be provided. In fact, she wanted to inspect the snacks because “I’m very picky about what my kids eat.” Congratulations, you are Mother of the Year. Your plaque is in the mail.

But then she asked the question that made her my Mortal Enemy. She said “I want to ask about academics.”

Before I go on, I want you to absorb that. She wants to ask about ACADEMICS. For FOUR-YEAR-OLDS.

So then she goes on to say that her child knows his letters and the sounds they make and she’s really worried that he won’t be challenged.

Yeah, she really said that.

I give the teacher a ton of credit. She talked about how kids have strengths and weaknesses and it’s okay for a kid to be good at something. That they enjoy having mastery over some skills.

My Mortal Enemy couldn’t let it go though. She is worried her kid will be bored.

I’ll tell you what I’m worried about. I’m worried my kid is going to LIKE your kid.